See, I think we’re making a VAST assumption on the first one.
"Curing AIDS? Shit, that’s like Cadillac making a car that lasts for 50 years. And you know they can do it, but they ain’t going to do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the Space Shuttle that can go around the Moon and withstand temperatures of up to 20,000 degrees, you mean to tell me you don’t think they can make an El Dorado with a fuckin’ bumper that don’t fall off?"
- Chris Rock (“Bigger and Blacker”, 1999)
Robin Williams - Live At The Met - Alcohol/Marijuana
Reasons i love Louis CK 1: when hes given a chance to talk to an extremely large group of people he makes it count. 2: he was a mechanic from boston before he did comedy
jim fucking carrey
jim fucking carrey
I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people
Cecily Strong Is Being Serious, an interview with New York Times.
Louis C.K. knows what’s up.
i adore him.
Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.
Bill Murray on Gilda Radner:
"Gilda got married and went away. None of us saw her anymore. There was one good thing: Laraine had a party one night, a great party at her house. And I ended up being the disk jockey. She just had forty-fives, and not that many, so you really had to work the music end of it. There was a collection of like the funniest people in the world at this party. Somehow Sam Kinison sticks in my brain. The whole Monty Python group was there, most of us from the show, a lot of other funny people, and Gilda. Gilda showed up and she’d already had cancer and gone into remission and then had it again, I guess. Anyway she was slim. We hadn’t seen her in a long time. And she started doing, “I’ve got to go,” and she was just going to leave, and I was like, “Going to leave?” It felt like she was going to really leave forever.
So we started carrying her around, in a way that we could only do with her. We carried her up and down the stairs, around the house, repeatedly, for a long time, until I was exhausted. Then Danny did it for a while. Then I did it again. We just kept carrying her; we did it in teams. We kept carrying her around, but like upside down, every which way—over your shoulder and under your arm, carrying her like luggage. And that went on for more than an hour—maybe an hour and a half—just carrying her around and saying, “She’s leaving! This could be it! Now come on, this could be the last time we see her. Gilda’s leaving, and remember that she was very sick—hello?”
We worked all aspects of it, but it started with just, “She’s leaving, I don’t know if you’ve said good-bye to her.” And we said good-bye to the same people ten, twenty times, you know.
And because these people were really funny, every person we’d drag her up to would just do like five minutes on her, with Gilda upside down in this sort of tortured position, which she absolutely loved. She was laughing so hard we could have lost her right then and there.
It was just one of the best parties I’ve ever been to in my life. I’ll always remember it. It was the last time I saw her.”
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